Disintegration as a Path to Meaning

Living with Integrity While the World Falls Apart

I’ve been sitting with this piece for months—not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but because I wasn’t sure I was ready to say it this plainly, this publicly.

To write from this place—to bring the theory of positive disintegration into direct conversation with the collapse we’re living through—feels like stepping across a threshold. It’s vulnerable. It’s personal. And it carries a kind of responsibility I don’t take lightly.

By collapse, I mean the fracturing of our collective moral and psychological frameworks—a disintegration of meaning, coherence, and trust.

That kind of unraveling isn’t theoretical—it’s happening all around us. As I watch systems continue to break—politically, socially, spiritually—I feel that responsibility pressing in more urgently. This isn’t just a political moment. It’s a psychological one. A moral one. A disintegrative one.

We need tools that help us make sense of collapse, as something painful, yes, but also potentially transformative.

Photo by Rawan Ahmed on Unsplash

For decades, American politics—and much of the Western world—has revolved around a predictable binary: left vs. right, Democrat vs. Republican, progressives vs. conservatives. We’ve been told that these ideological battles are the root of our collective turmoil. But what if they’re a surface conflict—one that conceals a deeper psychological unraveling? One that threatens the very fabric of our shared reality.

What if the battles we think we are fighting—elections, policy debates, culture wars—are distractions from a more profound collapse?

What if the destruction of society isn’t just something happening out there, but something that’s happening to me, to people like me, in real time?

I don’t have the luxury of treating this as an abstract political moment. I am nonbinary. And every time the federal government, the so-called leadership of this country, declares that people like me do not exist, that I must check a box that doesn’t fit, that my reality is not recognized—I feel the collapse like a weight pressing down on me. I won’t be going back to the way things were.

The old structures that held up society are falling apart, but instead of making space for something better, we’re watching power double down on its most rigid, oppressive forms. This is more than an erasure of rights or identity. It’s an attempt to force us back into a world that never made room for us to begin with.

When those in power strip away legal recognition and reduce gender to a binary, it’s not about paperwork or pronouns; it’s a denial of reality itself. They are trying to erase us from the cultural imagination. But we were never hypothetical. We’re here. We’ve always been here.

I don’t get to pretend that society’s collapse is theoretical. I feel it every time I see my identity debated like it’s an ideology rather than my lived experience. Every time I hear someone say my existence is a “fad” or a “threat.” Every time a court, a governor, a president, or a judge erases my ability to be seen.

This is the nature of disintegration. The old world is failing. And instead of letting it evolve into something more just, more expansive, more true, those in power are clinging to its ruins, tightening their grip, suffocating anything that does not conform.

This is more than a political breakdown. It is a disintegration of our shared reality. You may feel it, too—the weight of systems unraveling, the sense that nothing makes sense anymore.

We are at a tipping point. The question now is: will we create something new? Or will we let those in power drag us backward into a world where only a few are allowed to be fully human?

Societies—like individuals—go through breakdowns. Some of those breakdowns lead to transformation and renewal. Others lead to destruction and stagnation. The difference lies in how we handle the collapse.

Kazimierz Dąbrowski’s theory of positive disintegration gives us a lens to understand this moment in history. It offers a way to differentiate between collapse that leads to something better and collapse that leads to nothing at all.

Unilevel vs. Multilevel Disintegration: Navigating Collapse

This isn’t just a political crisis. It’s existential. And as someone who’s survived inner collapse and grown from it, I can tell you: not all breakdowns lead to transformation. Some just break you. Some break entire societies.

Dąbrowski’s theory describes two fundamentally different ways that individuals—and societies—can experience crisis:

• Unilevel disintegration is collapse without direction. It’s chaotic, flattening, and disorienting. There is no meaningful framework for understanding what is happening, and no vision for what comes next.

• Multilevel disintegration is collapse with meaning. It’s painful, but it opens the door to something better. It provides a higher organizing principle—a sense that some values, ideas, or ways of being are better than others, and that we must choose them.

Right now, our society is trapped in unilevel collapse, or a breakdown of meaning. A chaos spiral where destruction is the goal, not transformation.

We need to understand the difference between these two types of disintegration, because it will determine whether we find our way out of this collapse or get lost in it.

Unilevel Disintegration: Collapse Without Direction

Unilevel disintegration is directionless breakdown. It is collapse for the sake of collapse, a freefall with no higher values to guide it.

This happens when an individual, a society, or an entire civilization loses the ability to differentiate between truth and lies, wisdom and ignorance, evolution and decay.

In unilevel collapse:

• Everything feels equally valid or equally meaningless. There is no framework to say, “This is better than that.” Truth and fiction blur together. This is how misinformation gets the upper hand.

• People swing wildly between extremes, not out of deep transformation, but out of desperation for certainty in the chaos.

• Conspiracy and nihilism thrive, because when people have no real vision, they will latch onto anything that gives them a sense of control.

• Destruction becomes the end goal—burn it all down, without any vision for what comes next.

This is what we are seeing now. The old ideological divides—liberal versus conservative, left versus right—are dissolving as people abandon traditional political identities in favor of looser affiliations driven by emotion, distrust, and alienation. Positions that once seemed opposed now coexist in strange coalitions, united less by principle than by shared disillusionment.

A clear example of this phenomenon is the strange convergence of far-right extremists, disaffected liberals, and self-proclaimed "anti-establishment" figures who find common ground—not in shared values, but in a mutual distrust of institutions and a rejection of traditional authority.

For instance, we’ve seen white nationalists, libertarians, conspiracy theorists, and certain factions of the left-wing populist movement all coalesce around anti-vaccine rhetoric and deep-state conspiracies. Not because they actually share the same ideological goals, but because they are united by a shared cynicism toward government, media, and science.

Another example is the bizarre coalition between tech billionaires like Elon Musk, reactionary conservatives, and certain disillusioned former progressives who now rally around "free speech absolutism” as a way to attack institutions, discredit expertise, and undermine collective action. Not as a principled stance. This isn’t about building something better; it’s about tearing down what exists with no vision beyond destruction.

These alliances don’t represent a true ideological shift toward something new; they are the chaotic byproduct of unilevel disintegration, where people grasp for certainty in a collapsing system and mistake shared resentment for shared purpose.

Political figures like Trump, Musk, and Putin are accelerating the collapse, but not to create something better. They are doing it to destroy existing power structures in ways that benefit them.

Social movements that once had clear values are becoming flattened, reactionary, incoherent—easily manipulated by bad actors who know that in a world where nothing matters, whoever controls the narrative wins.

Disinformation spreads, not because people believe deeply in anything, but because they believe deeply in nothing.

This is the most dangerous part of unilevel collapse: It does not necessarily lead to growth. It is a dead end.

When societies stay in unilevel disintegration for too long, they may:

1. Descend into full chaos—collapse of systems, or widespread breakdowns in shared reality.

2. Submit to authoritarianism (because strongmen offer certainty in the void).

Unilevel disintegration is nihilism. It severs us from the possibility of a meaningful future.

Multilevel Disintegration: Collapse With Meaning

If we want to survive this collapse, we have to move from unilevel to multilevel disintegration—a breakdown that creates the conditions for something better.

Multilevel disintegration happens when an individual, or an entire civilization, experiences collapse but begins to recognize higher and lower values.

This is the critical shift:

• Not all ideas are equally valid. Some things are objectively better than others.

• Not all paths lead nowhere. Some lead to growth, renewal, and transformation.

• Suffering can have meaning. Pain can be a gateway to deeper awareness, to experiencing something higher.

Multilevel disintegration is the moment when a person or a society begins to say: We cannot go back, but we also cannot stay here.

This is how revolutions become renaissances instead of just bloodbaths. This is how a collapsing society evolves.

Signs of Multilevel Disintegration in Society

• Moral and ethical awakening—a deep recognition that the old ways were unsustainable and a new moral framework must emerge.

• Commitment to rebuilding something better—not just burning things down, but articulating a clear, inclusive vision of what should come next. Something rooted in justice, sustainability, and the common good.

• Emergence of real leadership—visionaries who see beyond left and right, beyond cynicism and destruction.

• The crisis itself gains meaning—people begin to ask deeper questions about what kind of society should emerge from the wreckage.

Multilevel disintegration means pain and suffering, but with direction. It is collapse as a forge, rather than an abyss.

We Have to Evolve Together

It is not enough for some of us to evolve while others remain trapped in the past.

Part of what needs to happen is a fundamental shift away from black-and-white, us-vs-them thinking. We have been conditioned to see every issue in binary terms—left vs. right, good vs. evil, us vs. them. But real transformation requires complexity.

• Not everyone who resists change is an enemy. Some people simply don’t understand yet.

• Not everyone who claims to be progressive is acting in good faith.

• Not every battle is about crushing an opponent. Some battles are about creating new possibilities.

Multilevel transformation requires seeing beyond warring factions and recognizing that a deeper shift must take place in our collective consciousness. We cannot simply replace one rigid system with another—we have to become something fundamentally different.

We have to learn to think beyond borders, binaries, and reactionary politics.

The world is changing—ecologically, technologically, psychologically—whether we like it or not. The question is: Will we evolve with it, or will we let it break us?

Where Do We Go From Here?

One of the biggest dangers right now is that most people are still playing by the old rules. They think this is just another election cycle, another economic crisis, another period of political instability. It’s not.

The illusion that we are living in the same political and social reality as before is collapsing. Those who refuse to see it will be left behind. If we want multilevel disintegration instead of endless chaos, we need more than resistance.

We need vision.

• Acknowledge reality—stop clinging to the fantasy that the old world is coming back. It’s not.

• Reject cynicism and accelerationism—disintegration is happening, but direction matters. We need an ethical, human-centered reformation—not just destruction.

• Cultivate new leaders—people who see beyond left and right, who understand what’s at stake, and who are willing to tell the truth.

• Speak the unspeakable—talk openly about how power is shifting, who is behind it, and what it means.

This is not just a political crisis. It is a psychological and moral one. And like all crises, it will either break us or force us to evolve.

“The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters.” –Antonio Gramsci

The time of monsters is here. What comes next is up to us.

This isn’t about glorifying suffering, but about recognizing that inner conflict and distress can be sites of transformation—if we choose to engage with them.

This is Not the First Collapse

We are not the first to live through the disintegration of a world order.

Kazimierz Dąbrowski developed his theory of positive disintegration in a time and place where collapse was not abstract—it was brutal, immediate, and all-encompassing. Born in Poland in 1902, he lived through both World Wars. He witnessed firsthand the destruction of civil society, the rise of fascism, the terror of occupation, and the atrocities of authoritarian rule.

Dąbrowski, imprisoned by both Nazis and Stalin-controlled communists, knew what it meant to live under regimes that demanded conformity and punished moral dissent. He knew what it meant to witness the dehumanization of others and to carry the unbearable knowledge that silence was complicity.

And yet—he did not turn away from the suffering. He made it his life’s work to understand how pain, inner conflict, and even psychological breakdown could become the raw material for moral growth.

He believed that in the face of external tyranny, the most radical act was to build a self that refused to be governed by fear, hatred, or blind obedience.

The theory he developed was not meant for comfortable times. It was born in a crucible of violence, repression, and despair. And yet it offered something profoundly hopeful:

The idea that collapse can lead to transformation—not only individually, but collectively—if we have the courage to walk through it with eyes open and values intact.

What we are experiencing now may look different on the surface, but the underlying dynamics are painfully familiar.

• A growing sense that the systems around us are hollow and brittle.

• The re-emergence of authoritarian rhetoric and power grabs.

• The scapegoating of marginalized people.

• The spread of propaganda, conspiracy, and distrust.

We are facing our own reckoning. And like Dąbrowski, we are called to resist—not only externally, but internally. We are called to disintegrate with purpose.

This is the context in which his theory matters most.

Steps We Can Take Now

Michael M. Piechowski has spent years studying the lives of moral exemplars—people who, in the face of crisis and collapse, transcended fear, hatred, and despair to become beacons of transformation. He has written about Etty Hillesum and Eleanor Roosevelt, individuals who not only survived immense personal and societal upheaval but emerged from it with an unshakable commitment to peace, justice, and inner growth. He has also written about Peace Pilgrim, whose life embodied these same values through a radical spiritual mission of nonviolence. They offer a blueprint.

These are people who faced the worst of what humanity is capable of—war, persecution, betrayal, injustice—and instead of becoming hardened, embittered, or nihilistic, they chose transformation. Whether through resistance, service, or radical simplicity, each of them committed to inner growth as a path to outer change. They understood something we struggle to grasp: peace begins within us.

We cannot rebuild a better world until we commit to evolving ourselves. So where do we begin?

It is easy to look at the world and despair. The weight of collapse is bearing down on all of us. It is tempting to give in to rage, to believe that nothing can be done, that those in power will always win. But history—and the lives of those who have walked this path before us—tell us something different.

Change does not begin in institutions. It begins in us.

Etty Hillesum, writing from inside a concentration camp, understood this truth at the most harrowing depths of human suffering:

“Each of us must turn inwards and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others… Every atom of hate we add to this world makes it still more inhospitable.” –Etty Hillesum

We will not survive this collapse by mirroring the cruelty, paranoia, and cynicism we see around us. We must begin with our own inner landscapes. The battle for the future of society is happening inside each of us—in how we respond to fear, in what we cultivate within ourselves, in whether we choose to evolve.

So where do we begin?

1. Cultivate Inner Peace as a Daily Practice

Peace Pilgrim, who spent nearly 30 years walking across America speaking to people about peace, understood something essential: we cannot create peace in the world if we do not create it in ourselves first.

“Ultimate peace begins within; when we find peace within, there will be no more conflict, no more occasion for war.” –Peace Pilgrim

This does not mean ignoring injustice or refusing to act. It means recognizing that our state of mind determines our actions. A world built from fear, rage, and retribution will only create more fear, rage, and retribution. If we want a different future, we must carry that future inside of us now.

This does not happen by accident. It is a practice. Daily reflection, meditation, journaling—these are ways we clear space within ourselves for something higher to emerge. It is not enough to wish for peace; we must actively cultivate it.

2. Recognize That Growth Comes Through Struggle

Eleanor Roosevelt understood that personal transformation is not a passive process. It is a battle. A choice made over and over again.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

We don’t become ready and then transform. We become ready by stepping into the struggle. Readiness is forged in the act of transformation itself.

This means facing our own biases and fears, acknowledging the ways we have been conditioned to accept injustice, learning to live without certainty. It means doing the thing that terrifies us—not once, but over and over—until it no longer holds power over us.

3. Let Go of the Illusion of Separateness

One of the greatest dangers of this moment is the way it isolates us, convinces us that we are alone in our suffering, that no one else understands. The more disconnected we become, the easier it is for fear and hatred to take hold.

Peace Pilgrim rejected this illusion:

“We are all cells in the body of humanity. We are not separate from our fellow humans. It’s only from that higher viewpoint that you can know what it is to love your neighbor as yourself.” –Peace Pilgrim

If we do not see our struggles as interconnected, we will become consumed by factionalism and division. The goal is not to win against each other, but to rise together.

4. Refuse to Add to the World’s Hatred

Etty Hillesum understood something that many of us struggle to accept—resistance does not have to come from a place of hatred. She saw, even as she faced genocide, that adding more anger to the world would only deepen the wounds of history.

“They can't do anything to us, they really can't. They can harass us, they can rob us of our material goods, of our freedom of movement, but we ourselves forfeit our greatest assets by our misguided compliance. By our feeling of being persecuted, humiliated, and oppressed. By our own hatred.” –Etty Hillesum

This does not mean accepting oppression or tolerating injustice. It means refusing to let hatred shape us. It means choosing clarity over vengeance, wisdom over reaction, transformation over destruction.

5. Live the Future Now

Eleanor Roosevelt believed that democracy and justice could only survive if each individual committed to their own evolution.

“If we believe in democracy and that it is based on the possibility of a Christ-like way of life, then everybody must force himself to think through his own basic philosophy, his own willingness to live up to it and to help carry it out in everyday life.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

We cannot wait for the world to become better before we start living differently. We must embody the world we want now—in our actions, in our relationships, in our daily choices.

If we want a world that is just, we must act justly.

If we want a world that is compassionate, we must be compassionate.

If we want a world free from fear, we must stop letting fear rule us.

Final Thoughts: The Choice Before Us

The collapse is happening. That much is certain. But collapse is not the end. It is a crossroads.

We can let it destroy us. We can descend into paranoia, factionalism, and retribution. We can allow fear and cynicism to dictate what comes next.

Or—we can evolve.

We can take this moment as an opportunity to become something different, to reject the rigid binaries that have trapped us, to carve out a path that is neither submission nor destruction, but transformation.

The road forward will not be easy. But as Peace Pilgrim reminds us, there is a different kind of power waiting for those willing to walk it:

“When you have inner peace, you move through the world differently. No one can truly harm you. No one can take away what you are.” Peace Pilgrim

The world will try to make us afraid. It will try to force us into choosing between destruction and oppression. It will tell us that peace is weakness, that transformation is impossible. It is lying.

The real work begins inside us.

If this piece resonates, I hope you’ll share it with others. We need new language for what we’re living through. And we need to know we’re not alone.