Trusting the Process
Making space for community, conversation, and shared growth
For a long time, I didn’t feel safe opening comments on Positive Disintegration. My writing and work needed to unfold in a space where I could speak freely without worrying about being misunderstood, debated, or drawn into dynamics I wasn’t ready to navigate.1
But that’s changed. I’m in a different place now. I’ve come to trust my voice, my boundaries, and my capacity to stay grounded in what matters most. And more importantly, I’ve come to trust you. Many of you have been reading for a long time. Some of you are new. Either way, I’m so grateful you're here.
So, starting now, comments are open. I’ve gone back and opened them up in the archives as well. Not every post will naturally invite discussion, but when it does, I’ll be there. Participating, listening, and growing this space with you. I may not respond to every comment right away, but I do read them all, and I’ll respond as soon as I can. Thank you for your patience and presence.
This is part of a bigger shift. After years of staying quiet on social media and limiting how much of myself I shared publicly, I’m finally showing up more fully. To connect, build, and most importantly: to invite transformation in all directions.
If you’ve been here a while, thank you. If you’re just finding this work, welcome. We’re doing more than talking about disintegration here—we’re living through it, and building something beautiful on the other side.
For those who are unaware, I’ve been working on cosmic cheer squad and PDA: Resistance and Resilience, as well as Positive Disintegration. Here are some recent posts:
One of my latest written posts on cosmic cheer squad was Growing into Love: A journey of becoming. A reflection on how my experience of love shifted from longing and self-abandonment to grounded presence and growth.
cosmic cheer squad (co-hosted with Bee Mayhew) has released eight episodes since April. Our latest is episode 8 with guest Sheldon Gay, compassionate mirrors. We talked about what it means to be a mirror for others, and how reflecting people’s truths—especially when they’re not ready to see them—can be both sacred and heavy.
PDA: Resistance and Resilience is a newer podcast I’m co-hosting with Marni Kammersell. We released our fourth episode last week, and the first with a guest: All About Functioning Levels with Katy Higgins Lee, MFT. From the show notes: we dive into the complex terrain of functioning labels, exploring how terms like “high-functioning” and even PDA itself can be misused in ways that reduce human complexity and perpetuate ableist assumptions. The conversation weaves through lived experiences, therapeutic insights, and parenting reflections while highlighting how labels often obscure more than they clarify.
Another update I’m excited to share: I’ve unlocked many of the previously paywalled posts here on Positive Disintegration, including the Interesting Quotes series. These are pieces that came from the work I’ve done connecting dots and tracing meaning over the past decade or more. For instance:
Interesting Quotes, Vol. 10, Christopher Poulos on Autoethnography
Interesting Quotes, Vol. 14, The introduction of overexcitabilities to gifted education in 1979
While I rely on the support of this community to continue my work, I don’t want to put a paywall between readers and resources that could help them grow or feel seen. My goal has always been service, not exclusivity.
The only posts I plan to keep behind the paywall are ones that are deeply personal or require a different level of privacy. Everything else? I want it in your hands.
Thank you to all who support me, whether financially or through your presence, reflections, and shares. You make this possible. 🙏
Reading Swimming with Sharks will give you a window into my reluctance.
As someone who quite intentionally chooses to follow your work, I have witnessed you—in some ways subtly—becoming more open and vulnerable in the ways you choose to present yourself publicly.
I often reflect on how vulnerability may be one of the highest forms of bravery. In days of old, a general who leads their troops, at the very front of a charge, is simultaneously both very brave and very vulnerable. In the short term, it would be safer for them to lead from a bunker, safely behind front lines. Yet, how does such an act speak to the people they lead? How effective is a leader who hides at critical moments?
At the same time, a leader needs to hold an inner sense of security, safety, and confidence. Lacking that grounding while being out in front may be a detriment to many. It's a complex balance to find. And I deeply respect one who first seeks to pay attention to their own well-being. To use another metaphor, you've got to first put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others who are in need with theirs. What the airlines imply but don't specifically acknowledge is this: if you can't breathe, you'll soon be incapacitated or worse, and then you cannot help anyone.
It's a huge step to open up commenting access here. I get the need for self-preservation... from a biological perspective, that's at the root of all that each of us are trying to do, as best we are able. The gift of allowing others to respond to your voice... well, this can be a way to safely give others oxygen to their own previously withheld expression. And perhaps help them gain permission to venture forth bravely.
I recall something a yoga teacher said many years ago: "What awesomeness are you withholding from the world?" I'm grateful to you for sharing your gifts and challenges—and by extension—the gifts and challenges of those you include in your public interactions and spaces. I cannot begin to measure the effects of this via a statistical database, yet I can tell you this: it has made a profound impact on my own life and, by extension, those with whom I share what I gained here.
Thank you, Chris.