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Oct 30, 2023Liked by Dr. Chris Wells, Emma Nicholson

Beautiful, helpful, useful article!

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Thank you! :-) I'm glad you found it helpful.

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Oct 30, 2023Liked by Dr. Chris Wells, Emma Nicholson

So much good stuff! Two things strike me:

1) have you ever explored Esther Perel's work? I believe her and Alain de Botton did a riveting bit about the relatively new culture of intimacy and how romantic love has conditioned us into believing that there's only one person out there who's supposed to be our everything, when for much of human existence, we all had different roles and places where we expressed various needs... Very aligned toward your Swiss Army Knife. Anyway, she's fantastic.

2) Alienation: I've experienced this more as ostracization. I think I'll be in group alignment only to find myself shunned by the group for gently, but firmly, bringing up alternate scenarios for consideration. Then I find myself getting a pile on of how mistaken and wrong I am. In healthier groups, nudging and curiosity are more supported AND reciprocal. It occurs to me that there's just not a lot of places where people get practice deviating or speaking up that feel safe.

For what it's worth, I've never thought you need to sell yourself better. I hear your self deprecating humor and relate (but yeah, is that us selling ourselves short?) But also coming to the theory, the parts of me that have been shouting "yo! You are a fantastic being! The more fantastic you are the more it brings out the glimmer in others!" have felt at "home" so this all tracks!

It takes a bit to settle in and get comfy in new ways with ourselves ❤️

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Thanks :-) I will check Esther out. It's funny about selling myself short, and it just shows that people are like icebergs, and so much is below the surface (which is what makes us feel misunderstood at times, because nobody ever sees all that we are). I have a long history of self-deprecation, and for me, those kinds of jokes were historically a way for me to express that negativity, while masking the pain with humour. My end goal is to not actually think the things which fuel the jokes :-) (although admittedly I do find it funny, and I would much rather make fun of me than someone else). It's going to be a long journey...

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