Episode 40: Extended Show Notes

Writing on Substack Transcript

Chris has been working on a few posts that are taking more time and energy than expected to finish, so we wanted to share this transcript in the meantime.

Before opening paid subscriptions and launching the written newsletter on Substack last summer, we recorded Episode 40, a Quick Bite about Writing on Substack. The episode was recorded on July 15 and released on August 24, 2023.

Photo by Rafal Jedrzejek on Unsplash

Thank you for being a paid subscriber! We want to thank everyone who listens to the podcast, reads the newsletter, and supports our work. We appreciate you so much. <insert warm hug emoji here>

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Emma: We're back for another Quick Bite. Chris, today we want to talk about our newsletter.

Chris: That's right. When I started this Substack account where we host the podcast, I originally created it because I was going to do a Positive Disintegration newsletter on Substack. Because there are so many authors I follow on Substack, and I think it's a good platform for writers. That was my plan when I created the account. Well, then I met you, and we used it for the podcast. But I tried to leave a section open for a newsletter in case I ever got it together to write for the public.

I realized more and more how much I had to overcome self-stigma to a certain degree before I could feel comfortable talking about my work openly out in the world online. It's been such a struggle for me. People who've been my collaborators in the past—shout out to Kate Arms (our guest on Ep. 6 and Ep. 28) and Jen Merrill on this. I struggled so much to do anything on social media. They would work with me, and they would both be so good about sharing stuff on social media, and I would be like, well, I can't. I just can't. I didn't have any good reason for it that I could explain at the time.

I can tell you now that the reason was because I was, first of all, going through a disintegration. I was moving away from seeing myself as mentally ill and accepting the reality that I wasn't and that I had misunderstood myself. I truly embraced the theory of positive disintegration and was able to reframe my life. That was a pretty lengthy process. That's when I opened the door to all of this nine years ago.

The point is, now, I do want to share my writing on Substack, and I finally feel ready for it. It feels exciting, especially because I have this enthusiasm finally that has been missing for the past few months. It feels good to know that I'm ready to work again.

Honestly, I know that that's what Frank would want for me—to focus again and get the work out, and especially my written work. I've said in multiple episodes at this point that I've been working on a book, and it's true that I was working on the book, but I've decided for now that I really want to share briefer pieces on Substack.

I also need to set up paid subscriptions because I've gotten myself down to very few clients. I've been focused on writing because I really want to get work out into the world to help people, and to make the theory more accessible. So, that's my plan. I'm going to put the book on hold for now and get this Substack account started.

You don't have to pay. You have the option to have a paid account or a free account, or you can have a founding account, which is a little more money. If you are somebody who has money, I would appreciate it if you could go the extra mile and do that because nobody hires me to do this work. All of my work is done via donations for the most part, except for a speaking engagement or camp or a few clients. One way I can support myself right now is to have a Substack account, and I'm going to do it because I finally feel ready to share this stuff. There's so much I have to share, as you know. You made the hilarious comment last night that I have more material than a haberdashery, which I thought was just perfection.

Emma: You do. You have lots of content. This raises some questions about authenticity and content. Sometimes, when you've got content, you've got to let it marinate when it's not ready, and you've got to put it out in the world when you think it's done. So, putting your book on hold, and I've done that before with videos. I'm like, no, I'm not quite ready to release that yet. I've got to keep working on what I want to say. It's a weird position to be in because, on the one hand, you only want to put out content that's authentic and when it feels right. But on the other hand, it doesn't come free.

The platform that we use to podcast on costs money, the equipment costs money, and getting transcripts costs money. You're kind of caught in a weird place between, well, if I get people to subscribe, then I'm going to have to do content semi-regularly, at least, because I don't want to let people down. But at the same time, I don't want to put out rubbish because it's on a schedule. I guess that's where you're in the unique position here, because you do have more material than a freaking haberdashery—you've got stuff that you're sitting on.

Chris: Well, I have a plan. Most stuff will be available to everybody. The whole point, honestly, is that I want to get content out now that I think will be helpful for people around the topics that I've struggled with and that I know other people resonate with. I'd like to write a piece about Overcoming the Self-Stigma of Mental Illness. What I just described about how hard it was to move away from thinking of myself as broken.

I happen to know that the episode I did for Aurora on Embracing Intensity where I basically gave the message, “You are not broken.” She made a short on YouTube that has been viewed thousands of times. I was shocked. I've gotten so many messages from people who were like, that message of “you're not broken” was so important.

I want to help people move through that process. I know what it's like to feel broken for a long time, into middle age, and then have to learn how to heal from that and embrace myself for who I am. Well, that's what I'm hoping to do with this account. But I want those articles to be available to everybody. So, if you have a paid subscription, the material that you're going to get is what you call the “nerdy bits” or something. I have all of this stuff around the theory to share.

Emma: When you want to promote this work to the world, you want to get the theory out there because you know it's helpful and it's valuable and it's made such a difference in our lives, so we want to share it with other people. You want content to be freely available because that was part of my struggle at first before I started doing my content was, I want to learn about this theory, but I don't want to be forking out for every book under the sun or paying to get academic articles. I was stuck in that space, and I really feel for people.

I know I want people to have the information, but at the same time, you're like, yeah, but it's coming out of my pocket, which is okay at first, but in the long term, is that really sustainable? If you get in a place where you can't create content at all, it's kind of like a rock and a hard place because you want people to have the information. But yet, at some point, you will hit that wall where it's like, well, if we don't ask people for either donations through the Dabrowski Center, or we don't ask people to pay for a Substack subscription, then it's just not sustainable.

Chris: It's true. I feel really called to this work, so I have struggled to charge money for what I do. It's been a real battle for me. The people who know me know this has been hugely difficult for me to figure out. I'm at the place where I am basically working for donations. I refuse to charge a lot for what I do. I need this information to be out in the world because I know that my job is to help people. So, that's what I'm doing.

If you are listening to this and you can afford it, then please, I would appreciate it if you could pay and subscribe. If you can't, you can't, and that's OK. I really, truly want my work to be available in the world. But I also have confidence that there's going to be enough value in what I do that I should give people a chance to pay, and they will do it. I mean, people pay for all kinds of garbage as subscriptions. If I put out a quality product, I have to just have faith.

Emma: Man, OnlyFans is absolute proof that people will pay when they want something. Right? Pornhub is available free on the internet, and yet there are heaps of people paying for OnlyFans, so people are willing. It's the asking, I think, that's difficult. And I wanted to add to that, even if you don't feel like you're in a position to go into a regular subscription, you can also donate via the Dabrowski Center and do a one-off, and every little bit helps.

Chris: That's right, it's tax-deductible if you want to make a donation. I need help paying for stuff. I've been doing it for free for a long time, and not only giving stuff away but going into debt to pay for the things that I do. I've been privileged to have a very supportive spouse who has helped me make all of this possible, but I don't think it's a stretch to start having a paid newsletter.

Emma: I don't think so. And even if people want something for their donation, we've got merch as well. You can get yourself a Positive Disintegration podcast hoodie if you want, or a mug or a tote bag or a mug.

You're in that position where you don't want to have to pay for everything. There's balance in this. I think, funnily enough, that actually comes back to something in the theory, which is values. This is another example of where you can be in a situation where maybe you've got conflicting values, and you're not sure how to act on it. Do I ask people to pay for this stuff? Do I not? If we both won Lotto tomorrow, I'm sure we would do everything for free. But that's not the reality of it. And then, you've got this conflicting value of, well, shit, if I don't ask people, then there might be a point where I've just got to stop and go back to the day job thing because I can't pay my bills. Your family's important as well.

Chris: I don't have a day job to go back to. This is a lifelong issue for me, that I have always prioritized my own work over anything else, regardless of whether it paid. What I'm asking people to do with this newsletter is—this is a way to support me and my work. If you're the one who's paying for a subscription, you're paying for something extra.

If you're paying for a subscription, know that you're getting extra. I am sharing things with you that are important to me and I think are valuable and worth reading. So, if you have a deeper interest and you want to pay, you should pay because you'll get more, and you'll have a special place in my heart because you'll be helping support my work.

I know that if I give people the opportunity to support me, they do. My study group has shown me that. The study group is made up of people who are willing to pay monthly to have access to me talking about the theory in our small group and on Zoom. I know that this model works if I give people a chance.

Well, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to talk about the newsletter explain my reasoning, and tell whoever's still listening way more than you ever wanted to know about my terrible work history. The reality is I have always struggled mightily to have a job. Literally every job I've ever had in my life after the first month, I'm like, oh my God, I'm wasting my life away here. I need to write!

I have this need to do this work and to somehow help people. I guess the other thing I want to say is thank you to everybody who's listening and supporting my work. I appreciate you so much.